Why do Relationships lose their vigor over the longterm.

The other day I was asked the question. "Do Men lose interest in their wives/gf's over-time?". The simple answer is generally Yes. The follow-up question is Why?

The 20th and 21st Century are periods of time that brought about a great deal of changes in the options for Women in the West. Prior to these changes they were mostly seen as silent partners in a relationship. These changes allowed for women to gain more independence and expand their interests. The problem is when Women generally enter a relationship they cut off numerous interests that they maintain and also a number of friends. In essence they mirror their male partners; friends, social agenda's, interests; forsaking their own. Prior to the 20th Century, this was considered the normal approach and would have been applauded by Mothers and Grand Mothers. However, this isolation and lack of independent identity creates internal conflict and frustration. In order to maintain a relationship headed in the same direction it is important to maintain 3 sets of interests and social connections; Hers, Theirs and His. This thought pattern is something quite difficult to accept and change. Since birth, and even during schooling Men and Women are often segregated in activities. An analysis of the Divorce Rate in young people will show this trend. The difficulty of this situation is it is quite difficult to develop the Hers and His identity while in an existing relationship, unless the activity is particularly feminine and/or masculine and the other party is secure enough to allow these developments.

The best approach is to consider what sort of interests you have, and wish to maintain. For example; I personally will NOT consider a relationship with a girl who does not work out. Not to the extend to which I mayself may train, but enough to know that she understands Goals, Discipline, Dieting, Muscle Soreness, etc. This is an important basis in a structure. The alternative point may be that a Woman may insist that her Man knows how to dance a structured dance. I.e Salsa, Rumba, Ball Room.

Sadly, given the age in which most people undertake their first serious relationship a large percentage of people, especially the women, lack the opportunity to develop their own identities. This failure to be actually unique and show unique combinations leads to insecurity due to a issue with being seperated from the crowd. This can be shown later in the habits of later adolesence and early adult life, people seek to differentiate themselves greatly; i.e tattoos, piercings, etc.

The root cause of this problem actually lays with the ignorance of the Government and Education system around us.

TBC