Traditional Parenting: Authoritative Figure (Needs some EDITING)

The purpose of this article is to examine the benefits and consequences that the "Authoritative Parenting" model creates in modern globalised society. This article also offers the Authors viewpoint upon what correct Parenting should include and consist of. (Be aware that there is no comparison with a Modern approach, as this model is consistently vague due to the multitude of Parenting views in today's society.) This approach is used quite regularly in the majority of 2nd and 3rd World Countries and is still found in the 1st.

From the Authors experience, observation and discussion it is apparent that the Traditional Parenting Model is based upon the assertion that an Authoritative, Direction-Giving approach be applied. This Model leaves little room for dissent, negotiation, freedom of expression and thought and often results in unintended consequences; at times of average impact, but also possibly disastrous.

Historically this Model obviously flourished during a period in which Tradition, Morals, Family Values and Respect for Authority/Elders was prevalent. This Model worked consistently well in delivering and embedding triggers surrounding Authority and relied on the existing environment and culture in which ALL children were raised in the same manner and showed the same types of Respect and thus had equally similar triggers. This existence allowed for a somewhat "Protectionist" view of the Children and Courtship, Family Arrangements were required for future events and Parental Discernment was possible.

The first consequence of this Model, in relation to modern society, is the creation and prevalence of "Authoritative" and at times "Subjugation" triggers in the Sub-conscious of the children. (More so, a highly negative event for females as opposed to males due to the nature of relationships and the general focus on male’s importance in these societies.)

The second issue, which has some relation to the first, is that this Parenting Model has fallen to the wayside in the majority of 1st World Economies, with the exception of places such as Japan, HK, Singapore, and has done so as Parents focus more on other life aspects aside from Parenting. This Model has thus been substituted for approaches that create events that deliver less engrained respect for authority, earlier periods of self-determination, and a blasé attitude. The step away from the Traditional Model in these societies, acts to remove a previous layer of protection once present. This layer had been historically present due to respect given to Elders/Family/Peoples Personal Well Being, etc and its break-down allows for corruptive authoritative figures to interact and influence.

Combining and expanding on these two points together gives us a greater overview of the problems that arise. Sub-consciously, the ingrainment of an Authoritative trigger creates the willingness and openness to unintentionally gravitate towards a more dominant, aggressive, authoritative figure. This impact if often shown strongly within adolescent relationships that include a younger female/older male and at times within interracial relationships where one parties view dominates without dissent. This Model creates a willingness to accept and reduces and at times removes the ability to discern dangerous association, question authority, source outside views and develop the ability to confidently make decisions with all the information available. (A general requirement for happiness in Modern Society).

The more negative side-effects may include; a general lack of ability to make correct decisions, a need to control everything within the periphery (due to the removal of this exposure within adolescence), a fear at making incorrect decisions and regret, resentment for Authority and/or a extended need for a Authoritative figure to feel validated and comfortable, sexual validation/issues (due to corrupted views by new Authority figures) and an overall lack of self determination and self belief.

So if these consequences are an outcome, why is this trigger created and used?

This approach and the triggers, as mentioned earlier, require a society without negative corruptive influence. When Tradition meets Modern there is a problem. The usage of this approach creates a more streamlined system in which Parenting decision-making meets little argument and resources can be allocated as required. This also allows for third-parties to provide extended diligence and authority, it is designed to affect the future relationship between that of the Elders and Youth. Negativities aside, this trigger has its positive uses in regards to Employment, maintenance of a Collective Society, Family Strength, Loyalty and Commitment.

Further negative consequences are created due to the overlap and interaction of the two models. This is often shown within the families of International Students returning to their birth country after University Studies and also within Migrant Families who have relocated to the new Society and suddenly have an influx of external influences and views on Authority and Self Determination. The consequence of this is that Authoritative Figures tend to overtly enforce discipline, with an aim at forcing control for decision making back into their grasp. Frustrations and Conflicts often mount and there is a failure to see eye-to-eye, this frustration can drive the Child from the family. Authoritative Figures cite a lack of Respect and Maturity, while the Child argues about a lack of Reason, Negotiation, Self Rule and obvious Control from the Parent. This is highly prevalent in Children with Strong Personalities and Aggressive tendencies as they seek to expand themselves and protect what they have recently been exposed to, and learnt from.

So how? Or what creates these outcomes?

In order to understand these outcomes it would be important to have a definition for what "Appropriate Parenting" should entail. (Please note, this is the Authors own viewpoint). The overall purpose of Parenting is to nurture a level of self respect and morality within a child, to teach patience, determination, and self belief and to engrain the ability to make appropriate, confident decisions and discern outcomes and understand events as they take place, all within an expanding boundary and level of available discipline. This would be considered as a Mentoring/Guidance Figure, as opposed to an Authoritative Figure.

So does this mean that Parents basically let there child do as they wish? Or how can this be approached?

Lets call this approach; "the 3 E's; Expose, Expand, and Engrain", a repetitive requirement in parenting (up to the point where self-determination is available). Expose and Expand work in tandem with one another. However, in getting to this, it is important to understand that there is a requirement for discipline, boundaries and borders to be established; however it is exceedingly more important to realise that these boundaries are dynamic rather than static and require the ability to expand. Expansion is actually created by the child and caused by the Childs level of understanding for their environment and a displayed level of maturity within this area; this is the positive outcome of Exposing a child to new ideas and objects.

This display of maturity sub-consciously demands growth and greater exposure to new choices and situations, failure to understand this, or allow movement creates frustration and difficulty for growth for both the parent and child. Engrainment of the recent concepts is a sign of their readiness for expansion. (Please note that the Expose component is controlled by how much a Parent allows a child to be exposed to. The more choices and objects placed within a Childs periphery, the more confusion is possible. These changes over time as a Child’s ability to multi-task and understand patterns and intertwined relationships develops).

In exposing a child to various ideas, objects and concepts is it important to understand a number of issues;

1.        A child has no understanding of the concept of material composition; that is to say the child does not know the difference between glass and plastic. This is correct whether the child is 4 or 12 provided their has been no Exposure and Engrainment.

2.        A child has no understanding of the consequences from heat, fire, cold, wind, etc and this requires alot of patience in imparting these lessons.

3.        A child has little respect for tangible, inanimate objects.

4.        A child does not have a fear of dogs, or cats, or bugs, or spiders; the parent has a fear and this over-reaction and attitude becomes adopted by the child for no legitimate reason.

5.        A child picks up your self esteem, and body language and mimics ALL of that is it exposed to.

6.        A child is from you, and develops certain abilities and levels of intelligence, due to this connection. This is a consequence of cultural influence and thus they may lean towards certain views as opposed to others.

Acceptance of these 6 basics (there are alot more that could be added) gives a Parent the ability to assess and nurture. The reality is, allowing a child to make use of a glass versus a plastic cup comes down to patience and the imparting of a concept. The child needs to be taught/shown the outcomes and consequences of misuse of these items. I.e. break the cup deliberately and show them why care must be applied to avoid subsequent events. This is the fastest way to Expand/Expose/Engrain.

Provided these approaches are applied within Parenting, the outcome will be a child who is confident with choice and avoids numerous pitfalls in life. They will be willing to be Mentored and Guided, while considering themselves capable of certain challenges without fear. The added bonus is that their level of maturity grows and their own ability at discernment allows for Parents to provide less oversight and control and more encouragement and boundary setting/expanding.

In regards to multiple children; perceived favouritism (the Childs view as opposed to the parents) amongst siblings is a consequence of lazy, inefficient parenting and a failure to reset and restore required boundaries and borders for the younger generation. Thus this can cause tension between siblings. Positively this may result in greater growth and development for the younger party, however adversely this may result in exposure to concepts and events without the required discernment and maturity, i.e. the older siblings friendship circle, external attitudes, lifestyle, cultural views.

(I NEED TO EXPAND THE LAST BIT)